My Walk
SEPTEMBER 27, 2015
Coming Out on Top
I am reminded by a good friend that no matter what you do, either fail or succeed, it is about the journey. If you’re like me and you get caught up in the moment, forgetting how far you’ve come, then I want to tell you to rest in the thought that you are not alone. I find myself constantly stuck in the past whether it be good or bad… I realize it is because I feel like I can predict the future. The “not knowing” or the “unknown” is what gives me anxiety and I am working daily on having Faith and trusting that everything will work out the way it is suppose to, most importantly being accepting of my circumstances and making choices to better myself and/or situation.
No situation is really the same and I have the power to make choices that will bring me to where I need to be. Here’s the thing that gets me every time… the moment I believe I have made a good choice or things are going smoothly, something ELSE pops up, “will it ever end?” I ask myself… And the answer is probably not. I don’t mean this in a negative connotation but truth. Your perspective and how you look at each situation that comes your way will influence your “next step”. If something does not pan out the way “I” think it suppose to, then it’s just not my time. I have to keep working and doing my duty as a child of Christ, daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend teacher, trainer and so much more. To sit and dwell on a situation will lead me to insanity. Definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over again getting the same undesired result. It has to stop and you have to recognized those destructive behaviors. Now.. I am not pro at “positive thinking” but I am getting better at it. I practice it daily! Negativity floods my mind often, anxiety and depression awaits my presence, it’s a battlefield in my mind and the only one at war is me against myself. Joyce Meyer wrote an amazing book called “Battlefield of the Mind” and I recommend it to anyone who is battling insecurity, brokenness or past hurts. I will testify that the book helped me get a kick start in changing my life.
I’ve made the decision to never go back to the way I use to be. The angry, hot tempered, violent, bad attitude little girl. I did not understand why I was all those things, I just was, but today, I do and I am no longer a victim of my past. I will no go back to the insecure, feeling unworthy young adult I use to be. Being in toxic relationships left me walking in the dark trying to figure out how the hell I got so lost in losing who I was. Revisiting dark moments allowed for forgiveness and healing and a pathway to TRUTH (about myself), LIFE (in Christ) and PEACE (with my past). It’s a battle that is becoming less and less significant in my life… It is becoming less draining. So, I have to remind myself… I have come out on TOP in all my situations and my journey has made me into the woman I am today! With battle scars and all… I would not change anything I have gone through. I am reaping the blessings from changing my life and making better choices for myself. It’s about the journey.. Keep focused and eyes on the prize!