J'Aimee
MARCH 30, 2022
Jackie is an amazing, challenging, and loving coach who stands for you as a whole human being in achieving your goals.
After gaining 19 lbs during the pandemic and losing my dad to COVID-19, I was in a dark place physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And, I also had a wedding to the love of my life to look forward to. I was struggling to feel happy and take care of myself, especially while caring for other people.
I already KNEW how to lose weight, build strength, etc. I already knew how to perform, physically, with a fitness program and strict nutrition. I’ve yo-yo’d between super fit J’Aimee and unhealthy J’Aimee when I experience extreme stress and loss in my life. It was always one or the other, extreme ends of fitness and health. I didn’t know how to be somewhere in between.
I also knew what it was like to be “super healthy” to the point it came with a personal cost – loss of friends, a social life, etc. because I avoided all “bad foods” and things. Especially if I wanted to avoid the personal judgement, inner critic, and feelings of failure when I “cheat” on my diet.
I didn’t want that for myself this time around.
This time, I wanted to learn how to listen to my body. To know I’m eating what my body needs, when I’ve eaten enough, without needing to weigh out my food for every meal. I wanted to learn what it means to have a sustainable, balanced, and healthy lifestyle to honors my body and myself. To workout and eat healthy to care for my body, not punish it and myself.
Over the 12-week program with Jackie, learning what to eat, what to look for, how to balance my meals, and keep myself nourished was honestly the easy part. It wasn’t a piece of cake at the beginning; and I did become more aware and how I take care of myself each and every day. I wasn’t. Jackie stayed by my side, encouraged me, held me accountable, and when I was truly personally struggling, she was right there with me. She didn’t tell me what to do. She guided me. At every point, I chose to put myself first. And before I knew it, I started to choose myself first in every aspect of my life. I understood I wasn’t being selfish; I was being honest about where I was, what I needed, and creating the space for myself in my own life.
Bringing myself back into my own body and my own life also helped me be with the grief of losing my dad. I started by wanting to take care of myself because it’s what he would’ve wanted. But I struggled to feel it. How do you make a dead person happy? They’re gone. I can’t do it to make him proud; he’s already proud of me. I really struggled with this, and the journey has had its ups, downs, and messy turns. Sometimes I fell flat on my face.
On the Sunday of my 12th week with Jackie, I got at the deepest level, how my dad lives on in me. He gave me my life and my body. For every breath I take, it’s a new breath for my dad. The breath that COVID-19 made hard for him to breathe. That took his life away. Every breath I take breathes in new life for my dad in me. All the unexpressed love, patience, grace, and gratitude I regretted not giving him or held onto because I could no longer give to him, now had a place to go; and it wasn’t just to my family, friends, and those around me. I deserved love, patience, grace, and gratitude, too. Working with Jackie gave me access to the bigness of my own love.
Thank you, Jackie, for standing for me. For your generosity. For your love. You helped me create the space for myself in my own heart. It grew bigger.
Oh, and I lost 16 lbs, reduced body fat % and visceral fat, too! I didn’t kill my body in the gym, I didn’t feel deprived of food, and not once did I feel like this process was a punishment. Turns out, you can take care of yourself and still get the same, if not better results. Trust the process 😊
I look AMAZING in my wedding dress and I’m ready, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to welcome marriage with the love of my life… knowing that my dad will be there by my side.